Yes, but for a brief moment we created some value for the shareholders.
When it becomes apparent.
It had an irrational fear of ping pong balls.
Guess I'll have to start from scratch.
Never mind. She just came back. She went to get a cup of coffee.
Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think
I’d have to legally change my name.
Grass…… I lied about the wheels.
People at the beach started freaking out though, because we didn’t cremate him.
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
He will be rolling in his grave.
I don’t know how you sleep at night
“You know, one would have been enough.”
He looked bewildered and replied, "Who, me?"
I havnt touched a cigarette in 10 years and shes up to 2 packs a day. RIP Rodney.
They were taking a walk but were way too close to each other given the social distancing orders. When I confronted them about the need to keep at least 6 feet apart, one of them looked at me dumbfounded and said, "We're just trying to flatten our curves!"
They both got 6 months. P.S this is my first ever post! Please be nive
It has grown on me
On the other hand, I’m okay.
Nothing, it just started wine-ing
Even though I don't own any leather hands.
My mother died a few years ago. I recently came across her death certificate and had a brilliant idea!
"I know how we can bring mom back!" I exclaimed. "Get me a Sharpie!" My sister, looked at me confused, "Why?" I pointed to the border of the certificate, "It says 'void if altered'!" (This actually happened and my sister didn't find it very funny. But we each deal with grief our own ways…)
Not because they don’t have it, but because they can’t figure out how to read the tests.