Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.
He said: ‘dad, can’t you just use a sponge?’
My wife left for work. I went into the garage, sealed the windows and doors. Started my car, let it run. I sat in my lawn chair and closed my eyes. After eight hours, nothing. I felt the same. I was soo pissed off I shut of my Tesla and went back inside.
He said, "Thank you." I said, "Don't mention it."
Which is better than suffering from really good ones.
A police officer says to a couple: “I’m sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire”.
They ask "Arson?", and the officer answers "Yes, your son".
I thought it was a nice Jester.
When your citizens are 37th in the world in education, you can pretty much tell them anything.
The bartender asks, “How did you do that?”.
But don't worry, I'm 0K.
…should get a NO – BELL prize.
No text found
She got a full sentence
Great food, no atmosphere.
I said selling fruit and vegetables is grocer
It's because I haven't seen him in 15 years.
I just sense this looming dread.
She said, “It’s driving me up the wall.”
But there’s too many drawbacks
.It is dangerous to sleep with your mouth open on the subway.
Because Dawn is tough on Greece. 😆
I can do it with my eyes closed.
1 "you believe in Santa Claus" 2 "you dont believe in Santa Claus" 3 "you ARE Santa Claus" 4 "you LOOK like Santa Claus"
to fulfill my fantasy that we have health care
One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean
But when it comes to relationships, they ain't fucking around.
We aren't doing enough to exterminate the fag-hating squirrel.
But it's just a hunch.
On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.
He'd lie awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
And I think I strained my voice.
Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
My dealer sure has some explaining to do..
Now I have a bitcoin.