Four richer, four poorer, four better and four worse…
one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other off.
It's about time.
It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had
They're too possessive.
The bartender says, "I think there's a typo hare".
It got stuck in a crack
Under the bed she found some serious bondage gear and other fetish material. Horrified, she asks the dad what should they do with him. Dad:"Well I'm no expert but I wouldn't fucking spank him."
I swam for the surface instead
I said "No, it doesn't".
Parents: Arson? Principal: Yes, your son.
They said that if my tents get blown away, I won’t be covered.
And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared. Must have ransomware.
Police are combing the area.
. . . except for his boots. “Where your clothes at, Slim?” “Back at the barn. I was feeding the horses when a beautiful blonde drove up. She says, ‘I wanna show you something in the barn. Follow me.’ So I followed her. She says, ‘Take off all your clothes.’ So I do. Then she takes off her clothes, and says, ‘You like what you see?’ Fellers, she had the most bodacious body I ever did see! I said, ‘Yes, ma’am, I do!’” Then she lays down on a blanket, all friendly-like, and says, ‘Well, then, go to town, Cowboy!’ So I pulled on my boots and here I am.”
We’re neighbors now.
One says to the other "I can't believe I just blew 20 bucks!"
To beat the crowd.
Do not comsume if the seal is broken
It's okay I can Samurais it for you.
They rub it, and a genie appears. "I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. "Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat." Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him. Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder. "I know! I'll have a shower of meat!" Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him. The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs. "I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"
No text found
but if no one likes it and it gets down-voted then so-v-iet
He took a short cut.
…I still love vista baby.
They can't keep a straight face
Because you're really insecure
If you take one out during class, everyone starts acting like your friend.
Roxanne is a really good song.
He was running a huge pyramid scheme.
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. "Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?" Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!"
The big ones at the end of the wing. These feathers are called pinion feathers. A crow has sixteen. So, the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.
I was in Daniel…
Who’s there? Yah. Yah who? Sorry I prefer Google.
She said "Aisle B, back".