You decide… who is real idiot ;)
It's a vicious cycle…
have very little in common.
A civil engineer
I was like, "What the Hellmann?"
The cornea the better
Bandersnatch. I'm sorry.
They don’t believe in a higher power.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
He was sick of me horsing around
…probably explains why her marriage collapsed
To keep each udder dry
Sunday: Greg. Monday: Ian. Tuesday: Greg. Wednesday: Ian. Thursday: Greg. Friday: Ian. Saturday: Greg
So this is how the Gregorian calendar was created.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." Edit: Woohoo!!! My most upvoted post ever! Thanks everyone. Hope you are coping through the Covid-19 challenge. Good luck out there.
Later on I saw some guy harassing a woman while standing on it, so I walked up and punched him in the face. Nobody does that to a woman…. not on my watch
I'm losing sleep over it. On the plus side, it's only 3 more sleeps until Christmas
But I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
We were better than The Cure.
Now it’s worth $875,000
He is Sirloin.
Usain bolt can finish a race
A robber pulled a gun on the bank clerk and manager saying, “Give me all the money! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession. You know, initial investment is needed to cover the overheads until my cash flow is established.”
The bank manager said to the clerk, “You’d better do what he says, I think he means business.”
As I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
So don't stand so close to me