You know what works better when tired?
The first asks for a pint of beer. The second asks for 1/2 of a pint of beer. The third asks for 1/4 of a pint of beer, etc. The bartender fills 2 pints of beer, and walks away.
I thought to myself; "Damn, she sounds just like the wife"
At first everyone is dubious, but after the man clarifies he means complete grammatically correct sentences, and they make sure there are no hidden devices on the dog, several bets are made. The man: Well, Charley? Charley lifts his paw. The man: Charley, come on, say something. Charley barks once. The man: Charley, what is it, now? Say something in English. Charley clearly doesn't understand what the man wants from him and is getting visibly nervous. Finally the man has to give up, pays the lost money, and leaves with Charley. After walking a few blocks in the rain the man asks sadly: "Why did you do that?" "Just imagine how much we're going to win there tomorrow."
People asked him if he was hurt but he said he was 0K.
But when I do, he laughs.
No text found
Somebody who stays up all night, debating whether or not there is a dog.
So I told him, “C4 yourself”
I call it my jingle bell rock.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
She hasn’t realized it yet, but the Thyme is Cumin.
Then they literally 4'20"
We never made it.
I might have to let her back in if it gets any worse
You drop it in water. If it sinks: girl ant. If it floats…
When she gets there, she is perplexed and confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter. She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every station. Finally, she seems to recognize someone who appears to be in charge. She runs over and asks the man, "what is going on here?" The strange man replies, "everyone here is doing their best to better their souls." Confused at the cryptic answer and curious about the strange man's traditional Mongolian garb, the woman asks him to elaborate. The Buddhist Monk replies, "my dear, having cake is the best way to gain Karma."
“Nope. It’s as easy as 1,1,2,3.”
I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.
can't wait to see how it turns out.
But he said he couldn’t help as my garden was portrait.
The pupils, they dilate.
It kept ringing
I replied, "Well, tell him he's bloody good – I ain't got any kids!"
"The way you've taken is wrong, stop and turn back now, before it's too late!" The next busy driver, who looks at the inscription, shows a sparse finger and disappears behind the curve. A second later a loud crash is heard. One of the nuns thoughtfully says, -Sister, shall we just write: "Attention, the bridge is demolished?"
I read it on an Instagram post.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.