Your mom had to get a tuberculosis test for work. I guess we’ll finally have an answer to the age-old question . . .
TB, or not TB?
Not all that useful but fun to push down the stairs.
I just don't buy it.
Man: "Yeah… But she's got a great personality!"
Woman: And a damn good one. I don’t have any sons.
"How was you English test today?" She asked "It was easy except I had trouble on this one difficult question" "What did it ask?" The mother replied "It asked for the past tense of think" "What did you answer it as?" The mother says. "I couldn't really figure it out. I thought and thought and thought and thought, and I finally wrote thunk"
The bartender asks "How the hell did you do that ?"
She is very good in bringing up old shit.
If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
A man brings his Rottweiler into the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed is there anything you can do for him?”
“Well,” the vet says, “Let’s have a look at him.” The vet picks up the dog and looks into his eyes. After a few second the he says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down.” The shocked owner replies, “what?! Because he’s cross-eyed?!” “No, because he’s heavy.”
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
It’s now 12:15 and my arm is killing me.
asked a son to his father. "It means 'happy,'" replied the father. "Oh," contested the son, "so are you gay, then?" "No, son, I have a wife."
They grab a table and sit down, so the bra says it'll get the first round. It goes up to the bartender and says "3 beers please mate" Bartender replies "no way, you're off your tits and your mates are going to start something"
Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
It's a little too crude.
I know where to draw the line..
I don’t know. I don’t speak French.
They'd have to spell it different.
I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.
Backwards it spells "gnihton", which also means nothing.
A Christian, a Muslim, and an Atheist all day the same day. They all approach the pearly gates where St. Peter awaits them. St. Peter calls the first man up and asks what religion he is. “I’m a Christian” says the first man. “Very well, continue on and you will be in room 16, just be really quiet near room 8” said St. Peter The next man walks up and St. Peter asks what religion he was. “I am a Muslim” says the man “Very well, you will be in room 29, just be very quiet around room 8” replies St. Peter The third and final man walks forth and St. Peter again asks what religion he was. “I am an Atheist” answers the man “Very well, you will be in Room 56, just be very quiet around room 8” says St. Peter The man asks, “If I may, why must I be quiet around room 8?” St. Peter replies, “Room 8 is where the Catholics are, and they think they’re the only ones here”
that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. Well, I did that and I feel much, much better, but I'm not sure what to do with all these letters.
I honestly can’t remember a single time I’ve ever forgotten anything.
So I pushed her under a bus
Unfortunately when I went to get it back, they were shut down for money laundering.
They lied, everyone else had their clothes on
A carrot 🥕
Translation:Alexa: ‘Helga, bring Klaus a beer”Most algorithms are programmed by men’https://ift.tt/2H2F8UH
It was an unexpected Journey.
You just can’t have anyone cashew.